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Humor

Humor

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?

joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.