Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.