Humor
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
You know, 9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just PLANE wrong!
Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?
France: Want a baguette?
USSR: Help!
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.