Humor
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
I find bananas very appeeling.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Here's a joke: Your life.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.