Humor

I find bananas very appeeling.

A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.

When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.

The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?

The book has papers.

Here's a joke: Your life.

What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.

I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

Just too bitter.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.

I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

Your face.

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!