Humor

Humor

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

  • 9

    • I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

  • 3

    • There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.

    When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."

    The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."

    "Shut up."

    "No, I need to know your name."

    "Shut up."

    "Excuse me, but where are your manners?"

    "Round the corner picking up shit."

  • 3

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To get to the other side.

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    The chicken.

    So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?

    ... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.

    My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.

    Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.

    How do you know a hippie is on her period?

    Her socks are missing.

    How do you know she's off?

    Her socks are tye-dye.