The 200+ Best Anyone Jokes

i just wanted to say to never let go of family they are everything never let anyone walk all over you and if you are with me like this quote

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

There's a blind hooker in town. She never sees anyone coming.

anyone want to eat me up im in that kind of mood right now

Anyone who says they dont like cats, has never had one cooked right.....

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and dont know many people

Anyone Wanna Chat?

Does anyone still look at this if you do tell me if I should make more jokes :)

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOF"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents."

i was in cooking class and my teacher said - does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?

me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

long story short the teacher understood the joke and now we are both in daily therapy 😭💀

Daughter: Dad

Dad: Yes honey

Daughter: Im Lesbian

Dad: Ok

Daughter 2: Dad

Dad: Yes?

Daughter 2: Im lesbian too

Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here

Son: I do...

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

YOOO Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?

They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.

Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"