Anyone jokes
Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.
Anyone remember the following?
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!
I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?
#Imbored
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Me, (AHAHAHA IM A JOKE AHAH Criii) Anyone wanna date? Lol.
Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?
Ariana
Anyone here a spoon?
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?
Students: Yeah, yours.
Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.