Humor
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
I'm so gay I could barely think straight.
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
Cunt.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
your mom
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."