Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.

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  • Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.

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