Humor
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?
A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.