Humor

When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

What do you call a PEIS?

Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Answer: Because they taste funny!

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.

Q: What do you call a sad soda?

A: Soda-pressing.

What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!

Want to hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.

He didn't show up for the rest of the year.

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

What do you call a Native American with a boner?

A redwood.

A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."

So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."

Why did the turtle cross the road?

We don't know yet.

OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.

All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.

All of the jokes are just abuse.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.