Humor
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
All of the jokes are just abuse.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
We spend the weekend getting the poop out!
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.