Humor
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
You thought his puns were bad, wait till you sea mine!
The joke is this website.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."