New Humor - Page 223 - Worst Jokes Ever

Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

What do McDonalds and priests both do?

They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.

What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?

You!

What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)

What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?

Children.

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"

I answered, "6 feet underground."

Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...

BA-DUM CHHH!

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you!

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.