Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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  • Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.

    When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."

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  • People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

    This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.

    What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?

    They are not for kids.

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  • Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

    What did one skeleton say to the other?

    Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

    Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

    Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

    Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

    Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

    I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

    What do McDonalds and priests both do?

    They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.