Humor
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Why do people laugh at mountains?
Because they're HILLarious!
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.