My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
Humor
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
You're a big Z!
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
I don't have time to write this joke.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
Sans: Zzzzzzzz
Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it dude?
Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Papyus: Grrrrr....
Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
Alahu-Akbar.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
