A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the retard's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

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  • I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

    Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

    People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

    "Hey, how do I look?"

    "With your eyes, Joe."

    I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

    But no pun in ten did.