Humor
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
What does the fox say?
"Fuck" "FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck
Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
Wish jokers.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
This is not a joke. This is not a joke.
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.