Humor

Humor

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Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?

Dad: Because she was made there.

Son: Thanks, Dad.

Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.

  • 5

    • What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

    Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

    Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

    Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

    One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

    The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

    After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

    The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

    After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

    The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

    The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

    The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

    The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

    The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

    They then begin a snowball fight.

    The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

    A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

    The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

    Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

    A. Denephew.

    Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

    Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

    A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

    I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

    My sister said to me "I love him long time."

    Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

    Yeah, they're pretty holey.

    Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

    A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

  • 2

    • What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

    They become in-bread.