Humor
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
You're a big Z!
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
I don't have time to write this joke.