Humor

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The letter b.

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?

BONE-Appetit!

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

The principal's office smells nice.

Professor Poopypants!!!

Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"

Professor: "Oui oui."

Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"

Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.

Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

Because the pond was too shallow.

What’s black and white and dead all over? My Chemical Romance.

I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.

I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

What are you good at?

Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.

Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.

Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.