Humor

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?

Everywhere.

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

Can I ask you a question? Nut now!

What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?

A pistachio.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.

What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

Why did the guy's birthday party stink?

Because he was turning farty!