Humor
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
Lessi
These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!