Humor
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Joem.
Joem who?
Joem Ama.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
Lessi