Hows jokes

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.

How was your day, Freshfry?

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.

He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"

She: "How can I resolve this?"

He: "Get a Cancer!"

How do rappers keep themselves clean?

They drop SOAP BARS.

Hi, I'm Nate. How are you guys doing?

How do rappers stay organized?

They keep their rap sheets in order.

Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)

How do rappers stay cool?

They use RAP-SICLES.

How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?

Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

How do homeless people move where they're living?

They pick up their box and walk away.

How many foster parents does each orphan have?

One half.