Hows jokes
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.
We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
Procrastination
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.