Hows jokes
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
How does a rapper clean his house?
With a LIL' SCRUB.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!