Hows jokes
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
i dont think that memes are what you think it memes
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.