Hows jokes
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen
Memes
My brother when he's mad
You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
How long is it?
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.