Hows jokes
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.