How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Hows Jokes
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
How is the weather down there?
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
