Hows jokes
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
experiment
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.