Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"
James replied, "He's as old as me."
Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."
James then said, "He became my father when I was born."
Hows Jokes
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Sup guys, how are you?
How do stars get their name?
By a black hole because it's sueeeee!
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
