Hows jokes
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.