Hows jokes
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
Memes
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.