Hows jokes
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
How do people eat bread?
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!