Hows jokes

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

How do you spot a cow?

With a bingo dabber.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

Student: How should I know, that's his story?

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?

Come post!

How do chemists laugh?

HeHe.