Hows jokes
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.