Hows jokes
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.