How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Hows Jokes
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
