Hows jokes

How do planets have a baby?

They have spasex.

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!

How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?

The wheelchair rises to the top.

How do birds pay? With their bills!

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

How do spiders reach the internet?

Through the World Wide Web!

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

How did the shark do on his math test?

Jawesome!

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?