Hows jokes
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
How do birds pay? With their bills!
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.