Hows jokes

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Q: How do you punish a blind person?

A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

How do you ride two bikes at once?

You ride them in tandem!

How do people eat bread?

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?

Special forces.

How come orphans know how to do laundry?

Cause that's usually the mom's job.

How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?

Clucky!

How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?

Just once.

How to cure boredom:

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

How did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

He wok-ed.

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?