Hows jokes
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
How do people eat bread?
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!