How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Hows Jokes
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
