Hows jokes

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.