Hows jokes
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
How i feel when...
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."