Hows jokes
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Hollow Knight Meme
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.