Hows jokes
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
How do you know if a homophobic woman that is a Christian nationalist and Catholic is poor enough she would be desperate enough to do anything to pay her bills?
she would be willing to perform anilingus and cunnilingus on women regardless of their sexual orientation in the LGBT community.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!