Hows jokes
What did the little boy say to the fat man? How many Japs did you get?
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
How do you tell a child they have cancer? With a smile on your face.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly? Kick his mother in the jaw