Hows jokes
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
no words
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.