House jokes
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
i might die so i definitely will be doing this
Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.
It's that time is year again!
Honestly tho it’s a pretty good show
I haven't seen sunlight in 3 years
new years be like in my house
Community talk
hi mal ill try to call u later on the house phoen again im doing school rn and i wont get my phoen today bc im failing for nicotine, but i will have a drug test in the next 2-3 days ilysmmmm and i cant wait until i can see you. MUAHHHHH
hi mal sorry I couldn't call u yesterday I tried and it went to voicemail, I'll try again today if I can get the house phone. ilysm ttyl
Finished building my MC house, took a day and a half to get the necessary materials, and another 2 to actually build it. Now im making an auto smelter in the kitchen :D