House jokes
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
Memes
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...
AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."
So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! đđđ But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit eitherđ§ i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................
ok like for part twoâşâşâş
Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing âEverything is Awesomeâ.
How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?
Igloos it.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Theyâre draining the economy doooown!
Theyâve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jackâs seed.
Theyâve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
Theyâre spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
Weâve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a âfewâ more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
Weâre gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
Theyâve banked off buying boooze!
Theyâll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folkâll loseee.
Weâre gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kidsâre in the business tooo!
Theyâre draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
Weâve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now theyâre a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, weâre now an oligarchy!
WEâLL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
Why canât orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?
Because they have to land at houses.
What is the difference between a human and the human rights act, a tree house, and a human being?
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
How does a rapper clean his house?
With a LIL' SCRUB.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!