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Home jokes

Orphan

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

Friend

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

House Fire

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.

Fire

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Mom

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Grade

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

Orphan

Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.

Orphan

Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

House

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Orphan

Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?

Because they can't make themselves at home.

People

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

Orphan

Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...

But a creeper blows it up.