Home jokes

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

At what point does a joke become a dad joke?

When it disappears and never returns home.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?

Because they can't reach home.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?