Home jokes

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

Orphans have no home.

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

At what point does a joke become a dad joke?

When it disappears and never returns home.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

Where do orphans shop?

Home Bargains.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?