Comfort jokes
I love sleep 馃洀!
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Are you feeling down? Because I鈥檇 happily feel you up.
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
I'm sorry for your loss.
It is going tibia okay.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."