Home jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"

Orphan: "Stop calling here!"

Me in the corner.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

How are orphans like Spider-Man?

No way home.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.

I love you.

Why do orphans get iPhones 11?

Because it has no home page.

What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?

A homeless shelter.

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.