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Home jokes

Orphan

Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"

Orphan: "Stop calling here!"

Me in the corner.

Time

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

Walk

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.

Sister

GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?

Me: My sister.

SWEET HOME ALABAMAA

Memes

Stone

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Standard

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

Orphan

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

House

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

Refrigerator

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Orphan

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

Trampoline

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!