Home jokes

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there is no home plate.

Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?

Because he thought it said "Home Deport."

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They have no home to run to.

Why did the orphan run away?

They wanted to go home.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never learned how to home cook.

Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.