Hit jokes
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
Memes
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"