Hit jokes

What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?

My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

Why don't rappers ever play baseball?

Because they're too busy dropping hits!

You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.

UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!

Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?

A: I'd hit that.

Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!

Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!

If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

When the moon hits the earth,

IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.

Me: Nice.

Friend: She got some red on her shirt.

Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///

There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.

They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.

Q: How to hit an orphan?

A: Hit them with a family tree.

What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?

Dam!

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I hit my friend.

He's dead now.