Hit jokes
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!