Hit jokes
Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."