Hit jokes
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
If you don’t know how to braid, hit that follow button, let’s gooo!
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"