Hit jokes
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.