Hit jokes

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Thumb nails.

The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

Depression hits harder than my dad.

Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?

Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?

Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?

A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.

An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.