History jokes
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite phrase to parents of boys? "Leave me alone!"
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?
Because they already lost two towers.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
A: Because they lost two of their towers.