History jokes
(Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
"9/11 was just a really intense game of Jenga."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
"Nahtzee"
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive topic.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!
Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.
You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.
What is big and stupid?
The Titanic.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.