History jokes
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!
Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Memes
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.
Yo mama so fat that when she went in the ocean, Spain claimed her for new land.
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
Read the name.
Joke: It felt good going through those Twin Towers!
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
How do you call a very long terrorist?
9/11.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Because the air was gas.
"That plane lookin kinda low."
This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.
Stop blaming Bush. He is white, it couldn’t have been him.
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
*slaps* "We ask ze questions!"
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///