History jokes
Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?
Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
I rate these jokes 9/11.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost to Towers.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
Why can't the T-Rex cross the road?
Because he's extinct.
Why can't the T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct!
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Wanna know the last words of the south tower?
"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"