Herring Jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.

Because Jill's real name was Randy.

What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?

If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"

ky you def like her

The image shows a woman with orange curly hair and a light-colored top sticking her tongue out. She is surrounded by other people.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.

"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

(Later)

"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.

Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.

Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.

My girlfriend is like treasure to me.

You need a shovel to find her.

What does a queen want on her cookie?

Royal Icing.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”