Whats similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her. They are both thinking, "oh shit, my moms gonna kill me"
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
How did helen keller burn the side of her head? she answered the iron How'd she burn the other side? They called back
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time...................tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
How can a prostitute make more money then a drug dealer?
She can clean her crack and sell it again.
Three nuns had to go before mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says have you sinned? Yes I have mother I have stolen a bicycle. Okay said mother Superior okay said mother Superior say 100 holy Marys and put dip your hand in the holy water... Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned she slept with a married man.. so mother Superior says okay save 500 hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way the third nun comes up and she says I peed in the holy water 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms”
“Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends”
“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground”
“Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag”
“Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus”
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
Today in 3rd grade english the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take ur clothes off?" Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "you can't ask that." The english teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired." Finally Little Tim raises his hand, "the shower ma'am." The english teacher clapped her hands, "good job Tim and as for you Elsa you do not have the body for that."
My Wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side So i crashed the car, then didnt talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason
Jack and Jill went up the hill So Jack could lick her candy
But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock
Because Jill's real name was Randy
what does a pregnant 14 year old and her foetus? theyre both thinking; oh sh@t my moms gonna kill me!
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist? If you want a hooker to be a bitch you have to give her money first.
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils : A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT
Yo mama so fat when she said i want a boat they gave her a naval ship
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy she wanted to protect herself from covid but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo
What does a queen 👸 want on her cookie 🍪?
Royal Icing.
“Daddy, what are those 2 things on mum’s chest?”. Asked Tom “Those are just....balloons”.said dad (Later) “Dad! I think mum’s dying!”said Tom. “Why?” Asked dad. “Because uncles blowing her balloons and she said “oh god im cumming!”
