Her jokes
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"