Her jokes

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.

Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

How do you blind an Irish woman?

You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.